The last few weeks has me made thinking about all the things that has been going on lately. Not been able to be my true self is a hard challenge and I had my ups and downs constantly. It also has affected my way of blogging because my #fomo (fear of missing out) had been bigger as ever and sometimes I just lost all my motivation and strength to post a couple of times a week. But this all also brought me some good things to think about. Like perfection. Since I was little I hated this word because personally it was something I could never achieve and often I felt like a failer. I knew all my flaws and getting rid of them would be a huge challenge. But was this really something I wanted? I guess not! Slowly I went embracing my imperfections and in the end I tried to make my own or just turn them into something positive or unique. I know, we sll showcasing a bit the oh-so-perfect life on instagram and maybe I still contribute to that. I see instagram as a creative playground were I show shots of my daily life, inspiration and other little things in life that’s worth showing – all mixed in nice feed. So for today I’ll sharing all my thoughts, weird habits or things about my appearance that makes me a not so perfect girl (and lovin’ it).
Short hair
When I was little I loved my longer hair but because it was quite thin it never grew to a super long length. It was never super curly or straight, so this in-between hair was quite hard to handle. With all my blonde friend with super long hair it made me feel different and not like the rest. It made me feel less perfect than the rest and through the years I had million kind of styles. Lately I rebelled against this perfect image of having long hair and with phases I cut it all off. Maybe it looks not so perfect in your eyes but I just love it (now)!
Weird habits
I think we all have those weird habits that makes us unique and so not perfect. Shall I share mine? And you’ll share yours too? Let’s start! I always need to wash myself with scrub because it gives me the ultimate feeling of becoming clean. I know, it’s really not good for your skin but it’s really something I need to do. Due to my two cats I’m always afraid of having cat hair on my clothes. This gives me the urge to use a clothes roller all the time. I’ve got one in our car, two at home and one in bag! Further I’m sucker for good package design and want to keep the cups of my coffee, Coke bottles or other things for the sake of saving and keeping it. No #cleandesk and severe #hoarderalert
Social awkwardness
As I want I can be super social and talk with all the people around me. But this all never goes naturally and I always need to set my mind to it. In the past it happened so often I got myself into a conservation where there was an awkward silence, I’m randomly rambling around or just talking shit. In the past this really anoyed me and o
Speach
My speach is something I’m not proud of and I tried to work on when I was growing up. I talk quite soft so I always heard people yelling I need to talk harder – “I know, I know”! Besides this my accent (from the south of the NL) wasn’t really something to proud of – nowadays I handled this one. Not to forget, I’m not structured when it comes to making full sentences which can end up in weird sentences and rambling. Oh sorry, not sorry!
No size 0
Before I got into puberty I was a long and quite thin girl with no hips or whatsoever. But suddenly childhood is over and grew into a women. This is something I always founded hard to handle and fought against it because I just prefered to stay a girl (and I still feel like that). Many years later I always struggled with my weight because I didn’t picture myself as that perfect girl with that perfect body. But in the end, who has this, right?! Now I just want to achieve a healthy body where I feel confident in.
What society wants
All around me I see people getting married and getting children like crazy. At the age I’m now, getting closer to 30, this isn’t something I’m think about doing soon, maybe never. Sometimes I feel society is unconsciously living their life because this is the way it always went without questioning yourself if it’s really something for you. I may not fit into that picture perfect but I really dont mind.
Clumsy girl
I never been that girl who was super athletic or knew the entire routine of her jazz dance class. I’m always been that clumsy girl with bruises on her legs and falls downs the stairs once a month. This bad knee injury I’m still suffering from can definitely can partly be counted to being clumsy again. Did you know I lost two front teeth due to falling from my bike or for months a bad scar on my cheek because I put glue (why?!) on my face because I wanted to create a look of Halloween. Hopefully this year will nog bring more bad luck and clumsiness.
